I just wanted a hot dog

I've been on a hot dog kick lately. I don't know why, but I've been craving 'em and one dog does the trick.

So it was no surprise during work this evening that I began to crave a hot dog and promised myself a quick bite during my break. Seeing as how I work right downtown in a city with all sorts of food carts, I thought it would be no problem to find a hot dog stand. We have a grilled cheese stand here. A gyro stand. You can run into the pizza shop connected to my workplace and grab a really tasty slice in just one minute. Much to my dismay, though, there was no hot dog stand. A gyro stand, for crying out loud, but no hot dog stand.

So I decided to check out the market across the ped mall and see what they had to offer. They have a little bakery and like to tempt me with their cheesecakes and cookies. I often sneak over there for their super sugary coffees. I also happened to notice they had a little deli and thought maybe, if luck was on my side, that little deli might have a hot dog just for me.

So I tried to look inconspicuous and search the menu for "hot dog," but I wasn't inconspicuous enough. The deli dude spotted me right away and asked how he could help me. At that same moment, something caught my eye. I failed to mention that this market likes to put weird names for their items on their menus. For instance, my favorite coffee is sadly called something like cardiac attack or something totally grim like that. So, anyway, the moment the guy found me and asked how he could help me, my eyes landed on something called, "Hot Butt." Hot butt, hot dog... I don't know where hot dogs come from, so I thought maybe this was a funny name for the "gross meat" that goes into my hot dog.

So I approached the counter, set my arms on it and asked, "Could you tell me... exactly what is a hot butt?"

There was a moment of silence and he asked me to repeat myself. I looked back up at the sign, because my vision is a little blurry and I wanted to make sure it really was two separate "t's" and not an "n" at the end. It was, so I said, "What is a hot butt??"

He looked at me like I was kidding. He asked me where I saw that and I said it was on his menu, under "Premium Meats."

He said he had no clue what "it" was... I guess he didn't want to be so bold as to say, "a hot butt." I told him that I had been hoping it was a hot dog, slumped my shoulders over and walked away, grabbing a chicken sandwich on my way out.

Later it occurred to me that I could have avoided the whole odd conversation by just asking if they served hot dogs. I don't know why I don't just say what I want, sometimes, instead of ending up having these strange exchanges.