Wednesday, September 16, 2009

If I Could Call Heaven

I think I've discussed on here that I lost my Grampa this year. It has hit me very hard, because he was my number 1 man (shared spot with The Husband). He was my father figure, someone I loved more than I love myself, someone I truly admire and absolutely my hero. It would take a book to describe him, but anyone who has met him was charmed by him. He was graceful, charming, intelligent, and very, VERY funny in ways you didn't always expect. When coworkers would pass around pictures of their adorable children at work, I passed around pictures of my Grampa and Gramma.



This is the first time I have lost somebody very dear to me. I am having trouble accepting it and moving on, so I'm trying to find positive outlets to process this and charge ahead.



The good thing about strong emotions is that they inspire writers to write.

This isn't a particularly fantastic poem or anything, but I liked the idea behind it. I got the idea from a movie I was watching. A mom was buying an old van that had a CB radio and her child asked what the radio was. The salesman gave a quick answer saying that you just grab the walkie-talkie part, hit a button and talk to the heavens and the boy took him literally. He tried talking to the heavens to try to find answers.



It made me think about what I would happen if I could talk to Grampa and I wrote this. Again, not publish-worthy. Just something I wrote a few minutes ago.



If I Could Call Heaven
~Meghan D'Souza


If I could call Heaven

And talk to Grampa again,

I'd squeal with delight,

Ask how he's been.

He'd talk of reuniting

with his daughter and mother.

He'd say he's free of pain,

His legs and feet are not a bother.

He plays golf, still,

With friends, old and new.

He and his family watch us.

He'd say, "Especially you."

I'd hear the twinkle in his eyes

That I miss most of all.

"I love you, you Cute Fixin'," He'd say.

If I could given Heaven a call.